Thursday, August 27, 2009
OMG! think it has been more than a yr since i last blogged! hmmm, so many things actually changed and i just edited my profile! haha. no longer a student of njc, but a student of nus now! and no longer still the 17 yr old kid who was thinking so much and eventually heartbroken by someone. But, i'm the sijia who all of you know! still so noisy and busy! haha.
life in nus is still managable, although it's only the third week of school. made a lot of new good friends, a few of which are really gifts from whoever is up there. although it's only a mere three weeks, i had times when i really felt very drained and tired. as many told me, it's prolly the period of adaptation that takes time and energy, and i really hope it's as they said.
really missed school badly in the long hols. everything of school- friends, lectures, tutorials, basically, the school experience and the interaction between humans. it's not as though i was living in my own world without any interactions with people in the hols, just that it wasn't the kind of interaction i desired. And i was really living in a world with minimal human interactions in the long hols, partly due to the need of being alone. learnt and started to love the loneliness that is present in every corner, and it's really a good break from reality. haha. do note that i'm not emo-ing though!:D
now that i'm back to school, lectures and tutorials are just part and parcel of it. i'm not dreading any of it, except lab reports which are kinda driving me nuts. perhaps it's a new thing that jc students were never totally exposed to, so it does take some adaptation skills. although we have done SPA in the past, and the lab reports were kinda similar to it, SPA was done part by part, while the lab report was a combination of everything! and the fact that i haven't been touching such laboratory reports really is giving me a hard time generating those stuff. haha, but it's over, at least the deadline is postponed, which means a break for me for the time being.
i've learnt to enjoy bus rides nowadays. i guessed all my close friends know that i particularly hate bus rides in the past, dizzy spells you see, but it's really a time where you can rest and shut down your brain without being bothered by the tonnes of work waiting for you at home, even though it's only a mere 15 mins ride. kinda funny, because humans really only learn to appreciate things at a much later stage or age, and i kinda give the credits to the busy life that i have now. if it had not been for the busy life i'm living now, i prolly won't be able to learnt to appreciate such stuff. haha. grats to me:D
alright, turning in. stay tuned~
*green makes a new beginning for me. so let go of the pink you've been so used to.
Her voices ;
Friday, May 09, 2008
Yo, haven't been blogging for some time man. really busy nowadays with common test:( exams are coming and i'm seriously discouraged from studying! sigh. i know i can't finish all that will be tested and that's why, i can't motivate myself to study for this common test:( and just as much as i want to start mugging seriously, i'll feel so tired and discouraged that i feel like sleeping:( damn, i think i'm going to do really badly for this common test... sigh. but it's okay, cause i'm determined to study hard for my prelims from june onwards:D hehe. trying hard to mug a little for common test too, at least i managed to finish my photosynthesis and respiration chapter! haha!:D happy! alright la, i know i wont do well for common test, but still trying hard, but at least, i'll make sure i ace my subjects in prelims!:D hehe..
sigh. quite a lot of stuff happened in the past few days... just had Sports Day on 7 May, and aqua lost the cup this year:( but actually, it's okie la, at least we got second? hahah! can you believe it? before cheering competition, we were last! but after cheering competition, we got second! i'm really proud of Aqua, bryan, the house captain of Aqua during my term, and of course, Xiaopeng, who's the next house captain man! hehe:D at least before my terms ends, Aqua still manage to secure a second! hahhaha!
had a long chat with a friend on sports day too. i guess the talk was heart wrenching and anger-stimulating man. sigh:( yes, it's about him, and through the talk, i realise all the rubbish he has been doing all the while. seriously, i really can't believe all the contents of the talk, cause it's so unlike stuff that he'll do? probably i'm thinking too angelic of him, or i've been covering all the rubbish that he has done for him? i don't know, but i just know that it hurts me so badly to hear all those things about him! alright, maybe i've really been covering up most of the rubbish that he has been doing for him, but this time, i really don't know how to cover up for him anymore! it hurts me so much man, bcos i'll really never believe that he has done this kind of thing, until it really happens to a friend of mine! why? i guess it's the only answer i would want to know, the reason behind his actions. is it because of all the lousy influence you get from someone? or you did it out of your own accord? she asked me, is he worth it? is he worth me doing so much for him? i guess i never doubted my answer, that yes, he's worth it, until that day... she was so sure as she was telling me that he's not worth me doing anything for him! maybe she's right, but no one would ever imagine how much it hurts me to do this to him. dao-ing him right from the start of the day to the end, just to force him out of me! seriously, it really hurts me so badly! ouch, my heart cries for the don't know which time in the day:( the more i hope to avoid, the more i see him and the more pain is inflicted. please, it really hurts to be stucked btw a friend, and a person you like. trust me, it really hurts. i don't even know what to do now! sighhhhhh. someone pls just enlightened me...
i want a break, i really want it...
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Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Hi people!! haven't been blogging for sooooooo long!! gonna update today, since i'm finally free to blog! hehe:) hmm, my last post was like really really long ago? haven't been blogging since the year started man:( too busy, i guess...
School's as busy as it has been since the start of the year. getting really worn out nowadays, but not really stressed yet. haha. currently, i'm still able to keep up with the tutorial and lecture pace, i guess, so it's quite okay for me. hmmm, tennis is getting really really hectic nowadays! training's getting really frequent and i'm completely drained after every single training man:( but i guess it's all worthwhile! after all, i really enjoy tennis so much that it just took my attention away from my heavy workload and other personal problems! haha! Great! TENNIS ROCKS MAN! luckily, i make the right choice in choosing tennis as my very first sport cca that i take up:) heehee! lalala! oh, and the tennis team went to KL during the march holidays for training. it's really fantastic and a super good time for team bonding! i'm really didn't regret going for the trip man. although i didn't get to play much, the A division girls team got a lot more closer than before and a lot more united!! haha!! the unity of the team is especially seen when any of the A division girls are bullied? *blink blink!!* heehee!!! damn fun!!! MAN! I LOVE TENNIS AND THE TEAM MAN!! THANKS GIRLS FOR GIVING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE!! BIG HUG TO ALL OF YOU!:D hehe!
I really believe i've grown quite a lot in tennis. firstly, i really understand the importance of cheering each other on under any circumstances now. no matter whether it's a singles or a doubles match, the person on the court needs to be cheered on all the time! maybe we can't be there to play with her side by side, but at least she knows we are with her mentally, and that she's never alone, because we are always there cheering her on and supporting her throughout the whole match:) which i guess and believe, is really important:D hehe! and this is something tennis taught me. secondly, perseverance. i would say tennis, as a sport cca, is kinda slack. at times where other ccas are running rounds after rounds on the track, tennis is happily doing service and playing in the courts. haha, but who says tennis is really an easy sport? and why is perseverance important? i'll tell you why, because you need that to continue training hard so as to improve your really lousy skills and you need that even more to survive from the fate of elimination, but i guess it didn't really affect me very greatly when i wasn't chosen for nationals. haha, save me from all the pressure and stress man:) i'm kinda glad actually!:D lalalala!
Alright, tennis is really a wonderful sport man, and i've made lotsa wonderful friends, like my super wonderful yet a bit crazy captain Eliza *hahaha!*, the super pro and cute Allysa *a bit crazy too!*, the super duper high and completely nuts Maricelle!, the really hilarious and entertaining Felicia aka Fuzzy, the funny and smart Jennifer *WHERE'S WAI KIT HUH? hahaha!*, the super nice and caring Li Qiao *she took really good care of sijia during the kl trip man!:D heehee!* and last but not least, the youngest and fun Shu yi! hehe! that's the A division girls team and each and every one of them are unique and important! i couldn't imagine how life in tennis would be without them! so THANKS GIRLS so much!:D haha!
Guess what?!! tennis took my attention away from him man:) haha. hard to believe? but it's true. i was kinda shocked too, but i realise after the kl trip, i felt a lot more peaceful and calm about my feelings, unlike the crazy sijia who take note of even the slightest movement of his? *am i really that crazy? DOTS* oh, a lot more clear about my feelings towards him too. yes, he's very important to me and i'm very sure about it, but he's not among my first few priorities. Excluding my family, studies is of course my first priorities, followed by tennis, and lastly him, but it's not fixed yet. if there's any other important stuff that comes along, he would just be pushed back, i guess. haha. still, despite his ranking among my priorities, he is still very very important to me. if anything happens to him or concerns him, i would not hesitate to throw back all my other priorities, as long as he's happy and safe:) haha. some people may think it's very silly of me to do so much for him, but i guess not. To me, he is everything. I'm willing to sacrifice anything for him, as long as he needs me, i'll be there for him, always and no doubt about it. hmmm, really feeling very calm and happy! hahaha! it's really great to just like him without any thoughts of future or other stuff. just simply the very innocent and pure type of liking, without any expectation from him. haha! it's not silly, i don't need any return of affection from him or whatsoever, in fact, i don't need anything from him at all, just his presence is enough:) hehe! even if it's looking at him from far away, i'm happy and satisfied and it's all that i ask for:D hee!
Lalala! class's getting quite boring nowadays:( if it's not for Angela who keeps me company all the time, i really wonder how i'll survive the lessons man:( Thanks Angela! so much! haha! and all the little secrets of yours that you share with me! i really appreciate it and i'm happy for you too!! *blink blink! you know what i'm talking about RIGHT?! don't act blur, i know you know! hahah!* but i really appreciate your company these few days man, if not i would have been like alone? maybe not, since sijia is such an easy person to get along with! *WAHAHA! no la, joking nia:)* BIG HUG TO ANGELA!! THANKS SO MUCH! for everything, especially listening to my rubbish about him:) heehee! if you ever need me or a listening ear, just come to me ks! i'll always be there for you, because that's what friends are for!:D heehee!
alright, feeling really tired, gonna sleep soon! haha! i'm such a pig man, but it's okie! i love sleeping! hopefully i will be able to find time to blog more the next time!:D
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Friday, November 30, 2007
YO! I'M BACK FROM HONG KONG!! hehe!! happy:) after spending 5 days in hong kong, i guess it's quite a nice place to shop! the stuff there are rather cheap and the variety of goods available there is scary! a lot A LOT A LOT! hahaha! but the very bad things about hong kong are that the air is so damn polluted! and the traffic is so damn congested and chaotic! walking on the streets and it's quite inevitable that you would be horned? hahaha! YES, the traffic there is THAT chaotic:( lalalla! but nvm, i enjoyed myself over there, although the hotel is 'a bit' too small for two and that the food there are 'a bit' too expensive? hahahah!
DISNEYLAND IS FUN! it's really huge and beautiful!! man, i guess the best part of hong kong is the disneyland there! it's the cleanest place i've seen in hong kong and although the rides there are rather kiddy, it's very entertaining and exciting to see the disney characters right in front of you! hahaha! i've seen characters from mickey's family (mickey, minnie, goofy and pluto), donald duck and daisy, the toy story, the lion king and the disney princesses! WHEEEE! hehee:)
shopping was good in hong kong, because the stuff are so affordable! they are really nice and cheap! hehe! happy!:D seriously, hong kong is quite a shopping heaven, especially when you are looking for affordable stuff? i've really enjoyed myself while i'm there and now that i'm back in singapore, i'm really dragging the tonnes of homework waiting for me man:( sighhhh...
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Saturday, November 17, 2007
Hi everyone! i'm finally back from OBS! haha. guess i'm feeling both happy and sad? happy that i'm finally back home! happy that i can finally bathe and sleep properly and comfortably!:D but on the other hand, i'm feeling sad too:( upset that all the fun are over and that Raffles (my watch) is separated:( i miss all my watch members! and our buddy group Battuta too! although OBS is indeed very tiring and very demanding both physically and mentally, it's really fun and i really enjoyed myself so much! the activities itself are not 'that' fun, but the people there make it VERY FUN!
Day 1
i remember i was dragging obs so badly on the first day, cause i always thought obs is very very tough and that i'm going to suffer really badly throughout the whole trip. however, when i met up with my group members, they were really nice and it kinda cheer me up:) went kayaking on the first day after all the admin stuff were settled. capsizing, t-rescue and how to paddle! it's really fun to capsizing! i enjoyed it so much that i wanted to capsize unnecessarily!!! HAHAHA! learn to cook our own dinner with mess tins and solid fuel tablets, learn how to pitch a tent on my own too!:D seriously, i'm so proud of myself! heehee:D
Day 2
started the day with a 'mini' land expedition through the forests. the mosquitoes and sand flies are really damn irritating! biting everyone and making scratch like hell!!! damn the insects! after the land ex, we had trustfall and high element obstacle course! hahaha! learn about belaying and i did the obstacle course!! MAN! IT'S REALLY SCARY BUT VERY FUN!!! hahaha! i'm not nuts, it's true! walking on a wire while being belayed! the swinging log and the wire almost freaked me out completely, but i finished it:D WHEEEE!! heheh:) dinner was damn good! served by obs:) heehee! i'm starting to learn more about y watch members too:)
Day 3
went for the real land expedition! man, it's damn tiring! walking through the forest from around 10 or 11 plus to 4 plus in the afternoon! although the weather was good, rather cooling on that day, we were attacked by mosquitoes! alot alot ALOT! you could actually see the mosquitoes following behind everyone! YUCKS! despite the damn mosquitoes attack and the very very HEAVY bagpacks, the land ex was probably the best activity, because it really bond the whole watch! everyone was encouraging one another, helping each other out, looking out for checkpoints signs, sharing food and chatting. yes, it's very tiring, but the wonderful thing is that you are not walking alone! everyone is walking with you, everyone is suffering with you, everyone is having fun with you! the feeling to know that you are not alone is really good man! to know that you are supported by many people, to know that there are many people catching you when you fall is really great! despite all the sweat (didnt get to bathe as there are not bathrooms), the conflicts, the mosquitoes bites and many stuff, for that moment i know that our group are really bonded and united:D
Day 4
woke up really early just to go kayaking! hahaha. sea ex was even more demanding than land ex due to the seasickness that i experienced and the choppy currents:( again, although it's very tough as it's very physically draining and you can't really rest and slack much, and the fact that the sun is scorching really turn me off, you are not the only one experiencing all these! everyone is going through the same stuff as you! you are not alone! the feeling is really great, it represents unity and strength! RAFFLES, BATTUTA, HILARY AND DA GAMA! a total of 33 kayaks on the sea, having the same goal, striving towards the same destination! MAN, I'M REALLY HAPPY AND I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF SO MUCH! heehee:) the instructors expected us to reach around 4, but guess what?!! we reached around 11 plus!! hahah! i'm so proud of everyone and my kayak was the first to reach the shore!! super satisfied!:D heehee. after kayaking, our watch went to do jetty jump. as its name denotes, we were to the jetty and jump down into the sea. so fun, cooling and satisfying! night trail was the last event of the day. scary but courage-boasting. reflected at the end of the day.
Day 5
it was a sad and dull day, as it marks the end of our obs journey:( did reflection on the whole journey and i realised i learn a lot of stuff and benefitted greatly from OBS. independence, initiative, survival skills, sensitivity, teamwork, mental strength etc... many many stuff! most importantly, i realised i could do a lot a lot more than what i ever thought i could do! stuff like belaying, kayaking, land expedition, surviving on my own... and i've make great friends along this journey! departure may be inevitable, but the friendship is forever. went home on my own...
although the whole trip is really tiring, draining and demanding, i never regretted going for it at all and i'm very very proud to say that. if it had not been for the trip, i would not have learn so many things, build up my own mental and physically strength and most importantly, make such wonderful and great friends!!! my fantastic instructor Princess Nadiah who went all the way with us, teaching me so many skills and sharing so many inspiring stories with me and my marvellous watch members Jerome, Izzy, Raihan, Sheikha, Doraemon, Joyce, Azhar, Aiman, Hui ping, Jeslina, Xiao Ting, Wan Fong, Chun Wee and Siti! PEOPLE, YOU ROCK ALL THE WAY!! THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES YOU HAVE GIVEN ME!:D
RAFFLES ROCKS ALL THE WAY! YAY!!
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Monday, October 22, 2007
hi everyone:) it' 22 october and today, i finally released that huge boulder which has been suffocating me since my promotional exams started and ended. i should be happy at this instant, because i know that i can be promoted, but i'm seriously not at all glad at this moment. yes, i have managed to pass all my subjects with grades that many considered 'not bad', but to me, i'm really and seriously not satisfied at all! imagine half the J1 cohort got an A for maths and you should be one of them because you know that you can, but you didn't! my heart really ached at that moment, but there's nothing i can do to change anything. sigh... but at least, my chemistry did not really disappoint me, though i thought it could be better. either way, someone told me that it's no point crying over spill milk and that's why, i guess it would be better if i stick to my cheerfulness:D make life easier for me and my friends!
lalalala! WAAAA! i feel so relieved now! after knowing that i can be promoted and that i did 'not bad' *that's what others think, i don't think so though* for my promos, i feel like celebrating! hahaha! and i've decided to work harder next year! i will definitely make a comeback and i will not disappoint the people around me anymore, that's what i promise myself! heehee:) Lalalal!
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Tuesday, October 02, 2007
WOO HOO!!~ END OF PROMOTIONAL EXAMS!! hehehe. i'm feeling so damn good at this moment, because exams are finally over!! YAY!!! i guess this period of time has been really tough and tiring, many people are so stressed over exams and i didn't have time to really rest well. finally, LIBERATION!! WHEEEEE!!! jiayou to all who are still having exams!! be it the promos, O'Level or A'level, it's definitely the last and final exam, so give it your best shot and no regrets!!! hahaha!
oh gosh, this year's exams is perhaps the worst exams that i ever sat for. it's really a super intense period of mugging and no time can be wasted. worst, even after mugging so hard for it, you may not get the As that you used to get in the past, which is perhaps the most demoralizing fact. sighhhh. i guess i gave it my best shot for all exams, i did my utmost and i have no regrets=D so whatever results i received, i will accept it most willingly:) heehee. i guess this is the most meaningful lesson that i've learnt since i first step into nj- to be contented with all that you have:)
hmmm, my life has changed quite drastically since last few months... i would not say i'm really adapting well to all the changes, but at least, i have grown accustomed to what i have currently:) hehehe. oh well, i just hope everyone is fine and happy, and that's enough:) heehee!! would really want to thank all those who stood by me during my difficult times. amy, yipeng, my kor and those good friends of mine:) thank you so much!! friends are still the most important people in my life, excluding my family:) heehee!!! lalalala! i guess i'm leading a good and comfortable life now, and i never regretted the decisions that i have made in the past!!!:D
WOW! i'm feeling super damn relax now! hahaha! listening to songs, playing psp and surfing the net! MAN, THIS IS THE MOST RELAXING LIFE I'VE EVER LIVED! hahahaha! don't say i'm exaggerating! unless you still feel that i've exaggerated after you sat for the NJ promos! heehee. seriously, the nj promos was really tough and everyone's so affected by the papers after the exams!! but it's okie, it's FINALLY OVER:) hehehe!! it feels like a tsunami has just subsided! lalalalal! I'M FEELING REALLY GOOD, in fact GREAT, at this instant!! WAHAHAHA!
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